Way back in 2004, I started keeping a daily journal using Livejournal. This blog would be routinely updated, recording the events of the day. A few years later, I decided to code my own blog and moved my online journal to my online homepage, UGuardian.us . For the next decade, I'd post about my day and the things I was working on, dutifully filling my little corner of the internet with news that less than a dozen people really cared about.

Then in 2017, it became harder to keep up this routine. By the end of the day, I was too tired to spend the time needed to chronicle my day. As time continued, fewer and fewer posts were being made. By the end of 2019, more than a year had gone by since the last entry. It shouldn't be terribly surprising then, that I feel it's time to close this part of the website, freeing room for other hungry projects.

There is also something to be said about the need for such a journal. Over a decade ago, people looking to build an online presence were told by "experts" that you needed a forum, a blog, and all these bells and whistles in order to be "professional" or "competitive". Indeed, early on I was thinking of turning my projects into some form of business, and so I took to blogging like a good little start up. The problem was that I had little to actually say, and looking back, it seems pretty narcissistic to believe that anyone would really care about the everyday life of a 20-something nobody.

Throughout the years, I've worked on a lot of different projects. Most of them died quietly, either because I had become distracted by another project or something was preventing things from coming out as I'd hoped. In a way, this made my journal into a graveyard of failed ideas. I like to think I've gotten better at picking my activities, but I never really feel certain about that, and reading back over these past ideas has been demoralizing rather than a fond memory.

The past few years have also had days that I would prefer to forget. There had been days with fights, bickering, bad experiences, and at one point I came rather close to death. Even though the journal that used to be here was already heavily sanitized, sometimes it's better to leave things in the dark, forgotten corners where they fell.

Most of us like to believe that we get more mature as time goes on. Personally, I think that part of growing up is realizing that the band isn't going to make it, and that there's little point in sharing our lives with the world at large. While closing down this part of my site represents the end of an era, I would like to think that this is a start of something better.

As always, the front page of this site provides links to my current projects and some of my social media. Should you need me, I'll still be around.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

-- Mary Elizabeth Frye